The Word Called "Love"
by Kay the Cricketed
Summary: Takedai and Taito! Yay! ::grins:: Well... to make it short- Takeru and Daisuke have been dating forever, but Takeru's not so sure he's in love... will it take some brotherly advice and a few broken hearts to set it all straight?


The Word Called "Love"  
  
By Kay  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I don't own them... -_- Ugh. I hate whoever decided I didn't.  
  
A/N: Takedai... Taito... ^_^;; Heh. I'm so bad at this! Um... When Yamato tries to warn Takeru about his relationship with Daisuke, TK ignores him. Will it take a slap in the face to realize what loving Daisuke may cost him?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, I've never been much for the word "love."  
  
Onii-chan uses it just as rarely as I do, which is unsurprising when you think of what my brother's always been like. Yamato's always preferred expressing warm emotion in small bouts that wouldn't do any harm to his outer shell, trying to convey what he wants with stubborn protective and aggresive tendancies.  
  
That was always the relationship we had- he loved me, I loved him, but there wasn't really much of a way to say it vocally. I don't think I needed to, either- he understood he was my best big brother, and I would always look up to him. And I know instictively that I mean the world to him.  
  
Just the same, I don't use "I love you" much, except to Mom, of course. It's just something I don't do, one of those surprising facts you learn about people you'd never suspect of having such a trait. I just... don't do much with the word "love".  
  
I made a mistake once, though, when I did try to use it. I became careless. Threw it out, and when it was caught, they kept it tightly to them like a lifeline when they were drowning in dark oceans. I didn't know that, of course.  
  
Daisuke would never have told me, "I love you."  
  
It was stupid- stupid and wrong of me to say something like that to him, no matter how much it seemed right at the time. Because I really didn't think it'd matter so much to one starving heart- someone who craved the words like an addiction because it could make all their pain go away.  
  
God... I was an idiot. Yamato was right.  
  
Yamato was right all along...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey, squirt, pass the Tropicana, huh?"  
  
Glancing up from the news section of the paper, TK narrowed his eyes playfully at the older, golden haired boy who sat across from him at the kitchen table.  
  
"You can't get it yourself?"  
  
The beautiful, curved lashes of his brother blinked slowly over his startling blue eyes. "You're closer."  
  
TK looked past his shoulder at the refridgerator, placed a small distance from the table itself on his side. "Not that far."  
  
Yamato pouted. "I'm *tired*, TK!"  
  
"You should have thought about that before you walked to that side of the kitchen. Maybe Dad's right, and you *are* turning into a lazy music bum," the younger brother mused, flashing a teasing smile at Yamato. His slender hands shuffled the papers on the table for an instant before he looked up to see the pout again.  
  
"*Please*, squirt?"  
  
A death glare sought it's way over to the musician's face from TK's irritated expression. "Oh fine... don't say I never did anything for you, though." He stood, making his way to the fridgerator compartment in the small, crowded apartment his brother and father lived in.   
  
"Thanks, TK."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Yamato raised an eyebrow gracefully, and shook his head in some faint amusement that TK didn't understand well. "Mmm."  
  
Opening the white, cool door, TK snatched the first bottle he saw, his hands feeling hot against the temperature inside the chilled refridgerator. He shut the door firmly, turning and coming back with the drink clutched in his hands. Handing it to his brother, who grinning widely at him in gratitude, he sighed and sat back down roughly in the plastic chair.  
  
TK flipped through a section of the paper and sighed again. "I wonder if the rain will let up soon...?" He gestured to the small, framed window covered in curtains that was placed above the kitchen sink. The sky outside was a dark, borrowing colour- stormy gray clouds hovering over sharp droplets of water that rain from the sky.  
  
"News reporter says tomorrow." Yamato paused, taking this moment to study his younger brother, who'd grown as the years went by. Now sixteen years of age, slim and well built, he was a catcher for any interested audience with the blonde, golden hair he had grown out, and the soft blue eyes that still seemed to shine with some inner innocence. Although growing up had put something of a smirk in his face, a cynical edge to his voice that Yamato suspected came from him, he'd mostly maintained his original hopeful outlook.  
  
TK noticed the stare and made it a point to make a face at his older brother across the table. "You know, I really hate it when you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" Yamato asked innocently.  
  
"Stare at me like you're thinking really hard about something."  
  
The now famous musician chuckled and taking a sip of the orange juice. "Actually... I was thinking about something."  
  
"Oh?" TK raised an eyebrow, grinning slightly. "Do I want to know?"  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"Oh, come on, and tell me already!"  
  
"Well, if you insist!" Melodramatically looking to the heavens in exasperation, Yamato tossed another teasing glance over at his brother before he answered. His hands smoothed over the slick plastic of the orange juice container as he did. "I was actually thinking about you and your compulsive boyfriend."  
  
TK blushed faintly, the soft red brushing over his cheeks at the mention of his redheaded love. "Daisuke and me? What about us?"  
  
Yamato shrugged. "Just... how are you guys doin'?"  
  
TK relaxed against the back of the wooden kitchen chair, considering. It was rare he and his brother had the chance to get these talks, what with their busy schedules of basketball, music, and family events- so the idea of being able to just chat about something as simple as their boyfriends was almost heavenly. It was that sort of thing he missed, exactly, and he wouldn't waste a minute of the precious opportunity.  
  
His shoulders fell slightly in contentment. "Daisuke's good. Last week we went to that new movie in the cinema that everyone's been talking about, and had lots of fun... especially after Dai-kun decided throwing popcorn at me was a nice way to get my attention." He grinned. "All out war never seemed so great."  
  
Yamato made a noise and laughed, shaking his head in bemusement at the image. "You two are so cute."  
  
"Cute?!"  
  
The older teen smirked. "Cute."  
  
"Not as cute as you and Taichi when you sing for him in one of your concerts."  
  
"Oh shut up." With an elegant twist of the wrist, Yamato flicked a scrap of paper from the table at him, deep blue eyes flashing as he smiled. "Tai-kun and I have a... an understanding."  
  
TK cast a dubious look at him, plainly letting his doubt show. "An... understanding? Um, like what?"  
  
"One meant for ears older than yours, squirt."  
  
"Ah... he shags you, he gets love songs? Cool- very good understanding, onii-chan, in fact, I really salute you-"  
  
He had to stop talking, however, and duck as an empty orange juice container flew at his head.  
  
"You're to young to talk about that kind of thing!" Yamato scoffed to TK's absent face, as it ducked under the table laughing. "I mean, you and Daisuke have probably never even kissed!"  
  
"Oh, sure, we have!" TK's head popped up impishly again, blue eyes widening as he smile. "A lot, in fact."  
  
"I see." A raised eyebrow answered most of the question. "So... do you really like him, then?"  
  
Frowning, the younger of the two straightened in his chair, making the wooden legs scrape on the tile of the kitchen floor. He didn't consider before answering, "Of course I like him, we've been together for... two years or so. If I didn't like him a lot, why would I still be dating him?"  
  
Yamato avoided his gaze, suddenly intent on the curved and scratches the table's surface had acquired in time. "Well... there's a difference between long term liking, and the kind that's not meant to be taken seriously."  
  
"What are you saying?" TK asked slowly, confused. "That I don't like Daisuke? Because I do. A lot, in fact. You know that..." He looked at him, one hand gripping his chair.  
  
"I know... you like him, TK," Yamato explained carefully, sighing heavily in his mind. He hadn't meant for the conversation to turn this way at all- not so fast, and so unexpectedly. But now was a better time than never. "But I'm wondering, lately... do you guys plan on being together? For a long time, I mean?"  
  
"Well... sure..."  
  
"Forever?" Strikingly, blue eyes met blue eyes and TK blanched.  
  
"Forever...? I don't know... do you plan on spending forever with Taichi?"  
  
Yamato's answer was quick, but quiet and so full of sure confidence that his brother was struck with it. "Yes. Forever."  
  
"Y-you love him?"  
  
"Yes, TK... I love him." There was a second of silence as the younger boy digested this. TK had expected it a little- it wasn't totally unobvious- far from it. It just... took a while to sink in. His brother was growing up and in love. It wasn't just all cute stuff. It was something more- something deeper- something a lot like love, but in a different form than he got from his brother. It was something that made Yamato very happy, though.  
  
"I'm glad for you," he said suddenly.  
  
Yamato smiled faintly. "Thanks. I am, too." Just as fast as his smile had came, it disappeared, and a serious, intent look settled over his attractive features. "What about you?"  
  
TK shifted uncomfortably, wondering just how to comprehend and avoid the question. "What do you mean...?"  
  
"Do you love Daisuke?" The dead seriousness of his tone made TK shy back slightly.  
  
"Love him?" It was his turn to pause seriously, a pensive look claiming his warm face. "Well..."  
  
His brother waited as he thought it over in his head, debating. Did he love Daisuke? He could have just said yes, but something told TK that his brother was looking for something a little more than surface affections. It wasn't something he was sure he understood either. Yes, he liked Daisuke. He was very fond of the goggle-adorned leader with warm, lively brown eyes. Eyes like chocolate on spring days.  
  
But did he love him? Wasn't that a really strong word for it...?  
  
"I don't know," he said after minutes of inner conflict, his eyes clouding with confusion and worry. "I mean, I like him, and I want to be with him. But love...? I don't know, onii-chan..."  
  
Yamato's eyes shadowed, and he visibly deflated, almost as though he knew it was coming and was disappointed by it. "I know, squirt." He sighed. "I thought that was probably it. It's a tough question, and I know you aren't really ready for that kinda thing... it's just..."  
  
"What? Why are you asking me this?" TK demanded, in more of a curious tone than an angry one. He watched his brother's emotions play across his face- doubt, worry, sadness, anxious fear...  
  
"It's just... I think Daisuke really, really likes you," Yamato said warily. "He told me after my last concert, when he came into the back, and..."  
  
"So? I like Daisuke, too. He knows that..." TK was slowly starting to become lost again, his eyebrows drawing together in his quiet puzzlement.   
  
"No. I really think he loves you, TK." Yamato's soft, melody-like voice drifted through the abruptly silent room.  
  
It took more than a moment for the words to sink in, and despite the sudden shiver TK felt, in the end he just stared and laughed. Laughed for a long minute, until he realized that his sibling was still quiet.  
  
"Loves me?" he managed. A panicked, uncertain look crossed his face, making him look older than he really was. "What are you talking about- we're way to young to be in love!"  
  
"He doesn't think so."  
  
"B-but, we... we..." TK's mind went entirely blank for a moment, as he floundered, swimming desperatly in confusing thoughts. This wasn't what he expected. Daisuke, funny, carefree Daisuke- last person to fall in love, right? Right?  
  
Right?  
  
Finally, he opened his mouth numbly, hearing the words stumble out in a broken train. "Daisuke... he can't love me like that. I think he must have been joking. I mean, we're much to young to decide anything like that so soon, onii-chan." He avoided eye contact. "Daisuke and I are just in a relationship... nothing special. People do it all the time..."  
  
Yamato had clenched the table edges subconciously, not in as much anger as in upset, his knuckles turning pale. "TK... I don't think you understand-"  
  
TK stood abruptly, shaking. This new information disturbed him deeply, causing fear to raise in his chest. "No! No, you don't understand- he can't love me. I wouldn't go that far!"  
  
Yamato stood as well, matching his brother's shift in body weight exactly, and breathing hard. "TK, I'm sorry! But if it's not going anywhere, maybe you should just let him go! He's not like you, squirt... he's more..."   
  
Almost like the strings some puppeteer had him hanging by had collapsed, Yamato sat down in the chair again, slumped. The bit of fire had died down, and he stared at his younger brother in some glimmer of sadness.  
  
"Sorry, TK. I didn't mean it."  
  
After a moment- "I know." TK slowly sat down, keeping his gaze locked on his brother's own. Suddenly the liveliness was gone from the room's air, the walls closing in faster, as Yamato's face grew tired and exhausted in emotion.  
  
Slowly, the big brother he'd known his entire life put his fingertips together gently, a thoughtful position TK had grown used to over the years.   
  
"TK.. I want to give you some advice."  
  
Raising an eyebrow, TK nodded slowly. "I see."  
  
Yamato internally chewed his lip. "Well, I... okay, here it goes." He took a deep breath, eyes wandering up to the cieling in awkwardness. "Daisuke and you are a great couple, and Tai n' me think you're just perfect for each other. But you don't want something long term. Daisuke might. That might cause... problems..."  
  
There was silence.  
  
"What kind of problems?" TK asked softly.  
  
Yamato glanced at him, encouraged. "Relationship problems- friendship problems. Same difference. Either way... Daisuke's not like you, TK."  
  
Immeadiatly, TK laughed. "Really? Where'd you get that?" he asked dryly.  
  
Yamato frowned. "I'm serious, TK... he's not like you. Daisuke's loyal to the things he cares about- loyal in a way that does damage to him sometimes. I mean, you're loyal too, but... he's different in that way. See, he's... almost... fragile..." The last few words were chosen carefully, the soft tone of his voice obvious despite his need to strengthen it. "You're strong in a lot of ways, and he is, too... but not when it comes to rejection and life. You get up, you have hope. He feels lost, confused... remember the first time Ken turned him down?"  
  
TK's memory revolved like clockwork, slowly but steady. "Yes..." he murmered. "He was devestated. He wouldn't leave his bedroom for days. Chibimon couldn't cheer him up- he panicked and missed the soccer championship..."  
  
"It was a crush, TK. Just a crush. Imagine you two, already dating and together, with the possibility of him loving you. Imagine what would happen if you hurt him."  
  
TK felt his stomache churn at the image, feeling sick and scared. "It wouldn't be good."  
  
"No, it wouldn't." Yamato sighed. "But Daisuke knows, I think, that you're just in for the short term relationship. Kinda sad, but he knows it. And as long as you don't step over that little line..." He made a gesutre indicating safety. "You're good."  
  
"Then why are you bothering to tell me all this?" TK demanded.  
  
"Because I don't want you to mess up by accident!" Yamato shook his head wildly, blonde hair lightly brushing over his forehead. "You're a compassionate person, TK, but you're not perfect! Everyone does something stupid sometimes. I'm just scared that you'll inadvertantly hurt him somehow. Without realizing it. And... I just wanted to warn you..."  
  
TK scowled. "It'll never happen. I'd never hurt Daisuke- he's my... my friend. And my boyfriend. And he's tough, he's a lot stronger than me. Why... why are we talking about this?" He forced a weak laugh. "You have to go soon, and you haven't told me about Tai's present for your anniversary!"  
  
Yamato's eyes darkened slightly with shadows of pain that quickly subsided. "Okay," he said softly. "We'll talk about something else. Tai's present. But... just... please..." He struggled for a minute with words that wouldn't come free, until TK prodded him on.  
  
"Please, what, onii-chan?"  
  
Yamato met his brothere's ocean blue eyes, just like his own, a perfect mirror of each other.  
  
"Don't break his heart. You might end up breaking your own."  
  
TK met his eyes. "Tell me about your present, onii-chan."  
  
"Alright."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
You see, I should have listened to my older brother. Onii-chan saw all the signs before I did, the shy glances my boyfriend would throw me, brimming with a light I couldn't understand. It made Daisuke glow. I made Daisuke glow. It was those little things I didn't bother to notice, couldn't even see, that showed my brother just how far gone down the road we were going.   
  
It was only a matter of time before I would have to make a decision.  
  
But I don't think you understand- I loved Daisuke, really I did. He was my best friend, my companion, my boyfriend for longer than I could count. And I cared about him, what happened to him- you have to understand that.   
  
I just couldn't love him like he wanted. Forever? I couldn't do it. God, I'm so sorry, I couldn't do it. Live with him like that, like my brother and Taichi did, I couldn't think of a life paved down a road so uncertainly rocky.   
  
I loved Dai-chan, but I wasn't in love with him.  
  
So... in the end, I did have to make a choice. I chose a path I wasn't ready for, one that would lead to the tragedy that follows a stupid mistake like the one I made. Damn it, I'm an idiot- I couldn't see the danger before it hit me between the eyes, and knocked me out. I lost common sense.  
  
I said the words without thinking. And I binded them.  
  
How do you tell the person who thought you loved them... that you forgot what to say? That it was a mistake.  
  
That I got caught up in the moment... and made the biggest blunder of my life...  
  
That I really didn't mean to say the word "love"?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"The stars are great tonight," Daisuke remarked, squinting slightly at the dark midnight form of the sky and the shards of light glowing in it. "They're so bright."  
  
TK nodded in agreement, staring up at the endless plain. It was a beautiful night, truthfully, with the brilliant stars perfectly aligned and the colour a dark cloudless blue deepening into raven black in the distance. It helped that the air was warm, although not so much as he couldn't wear a jacket. Still admiring the view, he settled against the back of the car windsheild more comfortably.  
  
The two had chosen this spot for it's isolation and view, as usual. Parking the car far out of the city, somewhere above it on a main road branched off, that overlooked the twinkling multicoloured lights of their home. And now settling idly on the hood of it, despite Yamato's increasingly annoyed requests they don't- as it was his car.  
  
Daisuke glanced at his blonde boyfriend, flashing a radiant smile. "So how's Yamato-kun?"  
  
"He's good," TK replied, smiling. The smile faltered for an instant as he remembered their conversation earlier, but it was quickly replaced again by his reassuring thoughts. "You'll get to see him later tonight- he's looking forward to seeing everyone again."  
  
"Yeah, it must get lonely on tour."  
  
TK chuckled. "Not with Tai around." Daisuke laughed, and turned to look up at him with a wide grin that the blonde teenager returned after half a beat.  
  
After the laughter died off, and the many stories of Tai's numerous attempts to get Yamato to have fun, the silence fell like silk rain across the sand- settling into them deeply. Moments went by as their eyes scanned the summer sky, and Daisuke slowly drifted into his own thoughts. Almost without thinking about it, he automatically reached and pulled himself closer to TK's warm side.  
  
Minutes later, TK blinked and slowly came out of his own inner thoughts as he realized he felt to incredibly warm for the night, jacket or no. He glanced down, and immeadiatly grinned.  
  
His sleepy boyfriend had managed to curl up against his chest, tucking his face into the jacket folds and falling deeply asleep. His dark brown eyes had closed, lashes against his tanned cheeks, peaceful with rest. The expression was a sweet, innocent one that wasn't seen very much on such a mischievious, lively face.  
  
Takeru rolled his eyes, amused by the infallibility of the other boy to stay awake for more than an hour, and tightened an arm around his thin shoulders. Daisuke's body was incredibly hot against his, almost like a furnace of some kind, and it surprised him he'd never noticed it. He glanced down at his boyfriend curiously, trying to catch the moment he'd never seen before where every guard was down.  
  
TK reached down and gently brushed away a single lock of dark cinnamon, burgandy hair.  
  
It was looking down at him, studying him with soft eyes as he slept, that something strange stirred deep inside of TK. Something that scared and confused him, as it spread through his entire body and warmed him to the very core of his soul, even further. His heart pounded, his breathing quickened, shorting to the point of nonexisting, and all he could do was gaze down in wonder at the face pressed against him.   
  
Daisuke was so beautiful, here like this, in the moonlight asleep in some period of rest. His breath was soft against TK's t-shirt, his heartbeat coming through in unison with the others, and it was all the blonde boy could do to never, ever let him out of his arms. Never let anyone or anything ever hurt this vision. Keep him forever, so he could kiss him, and hold him, and tease him endlessly...  
  
And the world seemed to stop, as TK's face melted and he glowed.  
  
He pressed his lips against Daisuke's, and whispered something.  
  
"I love you, Daisuke Motomiya."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I never planned on saying it- and I never meant to hurt him, god, really.  
  
It was a strange night, and I didn't feel myself. Which led to temptations I didn't understand, I guess. I don't know why I did what I did, and I have no excuse for it, but I won't tell you I wanted to go along with it just because I made a mistake.  
  
I never thought I'd have to follow up on that moment of promise. Wasn't it apparent, at the time, that Daisuke was asleep? There was no way he could have heard me, right? And even if he had, would he have been able to make sense of the whispered words that I could hardly hear? He might have mistaken them in his exhaustion, and even if so, he was supposed to be asleep.  
  
Daisuke was supposed to be asleep.  
  
I... I made a mistake. I assumed, then created a lie no person could handle when they know it would hurt the person they cared about. It was a noble thing I did in a way, after it all ended. Scraping together a broken heart is hard, even harder in Daisuke's case. But I sent him away without tears, didn't I?  
  
But he cried later. He cried later.  
  
God, don't cry, Dai-chan, please don't cry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow, this is awesome!" he yelled close to TK's ear, trying to be heard above the loud music and the screaming of fans.  
  
TK grinned widely in agreement at Daisuke's excited face, and grabbed him around the waist, hugging him tightly. Everyone around them surged forward in a huge crowd of yelling and cheering, leaving the two boys to cling to each other in hopes of managing to get through without losing themselves.   
  
"I can't believe Yamato-kun has so many fans!" Daisuke shouted again, putting his lips to his love's ears, then looking around at the mass of people jammed in the auditorium for the biggest Yamato Ishida concert ever. The entire room had been filled with fans of all ages, making him feel relieved that they had gotten free front seat passes because of TK's relation with the lead singer.  
  
"Yeah, he's really happy about the turnout," TK said loudly, jerking aside to avoid being slammed into by a balding man trying to pass. "Now how about we find our seats? Tai should be waiting for us."  
  
Daisuke nodded soundlessly, and slowly the two made it through the aisles to the front. Peering through the jumping excited bodies, they spotted the chestnut haired leader waving his arms at them both from the near middle. It took a lot of shoving to get there, but as they stood panting in from of Tai, he grinned wide.  
  
The years had still let Tai keep his boyish looks, making him seem almost their age, with his warm brown eyes and his face. Athletic competition kept him slim and muscled well, too- something his blonde musician lover found good, of course.  
  
"You guys havin' fun yet!?" Tai yelled loudly above the chanting that had started.   
  
TK laughed and waved in affirmative, while Daisuke decided to show his happiness by joining the chanting for a moment.  
  
"Ya-ma-TO! YA-MA-TO!"  
  
TK bopped him, and just as quickly he swept in next to Daisuke's ear and murmered, "I'm so jealous, Dai-chan." He left with a teasing grin, and his boyfriend made a face at him.  
  
The lights dimmed quickly in some kind of frantic attempt to keep it quiet, and everyone hushed and took their seats with scattered whispers.  
  
And Daisuke took TK's hand as the lights went out completely.  
  
Suddenly, a dark purple light beamed on, and the entire array of colours flashed on the wooden stage- and it lit up again, revealing the Teenage Wolves in full style. The cheers almost deafened everyone in the place.  
  
The blonde lead singer's deep blue eyes sought out Taichi's in the first row, and he smiled as the music started and his cue came. The second he opened his mouth and started to sing, the world grew even louder- and Taichi, of course, instantly was hooked even harder than any of the fans. He leaned forward in his seat and gazed intently at the lead singer in rapture.  
  
Hours later, after the music had faded and everyone had emptied out of the auditorium now that the late night had settled in, Yamato jumped down from the stage to meet the last three people left.  
  
"You did great," Taichi vowed, dark eyes shining as his lover looked at him hesitantly. A smile spread across his face and he kissed him deeply, hungrily embracing him. As the two lovebirds drifted in their activities as Taichi decided his boyfriend looked better without the jacket, the younger pair looked at each other and laughed.  
  
"I wonder if their lips will lock together," TK commented, blue eyes sparkling impishly.  
  
"No, no," Daisuke insisted with a giggle. "I think they'll die of lack of oxygen first."  
  
"Well, there's always that possibility..." TK rolled his eyes as the jacket went flying. "They're so pathetic."  
  
"Yeah," his own boyfriend agreed, smiling. His dark brown, ash eyes caught TK's though with that smile. "But isn't it beautiful, Takeru-kun? They really love each other- don'cha think it's perfect?"  
  
He stared at him, suddenly feeling strange, and forced a smile. "Yeah, I guess... why the sudden sentiment?"  
  
Daisuke blushed suddenly, and looked down. "No reason. Why?"  
  
"Mm, okay." TK studied him uneasily, and finally looked back to where Yamato and Taichi were still... increasing in their activity. "Hey, onii-chan, I'm going to go home now, okay?"  
  
"Okay, TK," Yamato managed dreamily, staring into Tai's eyes. "See you tomorrow..."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." TK would have grinned and said goodbye more properly to his older brother, but for some reason he was getting a hurried instinct to get out right about now, and take Daisuke with him. Which was just what he was planning to do- get Daisuke home, and take a hot shower, then sleep whatever was coming over him away.  
  
The two of them hurried through the hallway of the building to the outer parking lot, where they'd get Mrs. Takeshia's car that she'd let them borrow for the night's special occassion. The night had dimmed into a black gray with no stars, the drizzle and misty air bringing rain earlier during the concert obviously. It was still sprinkling when they made it to the clear, glass doors, making large puddles in the ground.  
  
"Wet," Daisuke commented the obvious.  
  
"Yeah, we'd better hurry," TK agreed, sighing. "This probably won't let up until later tonight- I hope onii-chan and Taichi don't get to wet walking home."  
  
"It's not that far," Daisuke pointed out. "They'll survive, don't worry." He grinned and wound an arm around Takeru's shoulders, hugging him slightly but awkwardly as he was shorter than the blonde boy. "I think the rain won't hurt them too bad."  
  
"I know that," TK grumbled, admitting a sheepish smile to grace his face. "I just can't help it. Onii-chan doesn't need a cold right now with his music career, you know."  
  
"Yeah, so he should be smart enough to take care of himself like that," Daisuke pointed out. "But if you want to wait, that's okay, I don't have to be home until one anyway..."  
  
TK shivered, suddenly remembering the foreboding feeling from earlier and shaking his head. "No... no, let's go."  
  
They silently came out into the fresh rain, the world damp and empty. They were both wet, but it wasn't a soaking kind, thankfully, and the silence prelonged. It was Daisuke who broke that silence immeadiatly, still caught in the flash of lights and music, unable to stop himself from saying it.  
  
"Taichi and Yamato are the greatest. Think they'll ever get married?"  
  
It was a giddy, silly question, but it made TK stiffen and look surprised.  
  
"Wha-what? Married?" He shook his head. "They don't allow marriages like that, and you know it. Although I'd love to see my brother that happy."  
  
"So?" Daisuke looked up dreamily, dark eyes faint for a moment in some imagined place. "It'd be nice, though. Maybe someday they'll revoke that law. Or we could just revolk the government!"  
  
TK grinned, relaxing as he placed his friend's ditzy mood as a playful one. "What, and take over Japan? Sounds kind of risky, Dai-chan."  
  
"Yeah, but I'd rather take it over with you, than not take it over without you!" Daisuke laughed lightly again, searching the lot for the car as he did. "And... where is the car?"  
  
"It's around here somewhere," TK said distantly, before adding with humor, "Maybe the government's confiscated it because you're being naughty and trying to take it over?"  
  
"I never said anything about the government... only the world!" He waved his hand. "You and me, TK, we could be rulers of the universe. Taichi and Yamato could be our advisors, and I could blow up the school."  
  
"I don't think they'd advise that."  
  
"You'd be surprised." Daisuke blinked for a second. "Oh- I think the car's over there. The truth is out there, too!"  
  
TK laughed, shaking his head and causing his golden hair to plaster to his forehead from the sprinkle of rain. "You're being hyper again, Daisuke. Calm down and come back to sanity, okay?"  
  
"I can't!" Daisuke grinned brightly, and twirled around once in the rain, his demin jacket starting to turn darker from the water absorbing into the fabric. "Being hyper and silly is a good thing sometimes, and it's hard not to do when you're so happy!"  
  
TK fitted the key into the shiny red car, and looked up, still grinning at the sight of his odd boyfriend. "Oh? And why are you so happy?"  
  
Daisuke laughed again. "The world is good, it's rained, and I'm in love with the greatest guy on the planet!"  
  
TK fumbled.  
  
He quickly glanced at him, oceanic blue eyes wide with shock, and smiled hesitantly. "What?"  
  
Daisuke looked at him quizzically. "I said the world is good-"  
  
"No, not that, the last part," TK interrupted, feeling his heart stick in his throat like a piece of sharp metal iron.  
  
The humor was suddenly gone- all the excited phrases and jests. Daisuke gazed at him through the haze of lightly falling rain, eyes of familiar dark chocolate, with his spiked hair flattened somewhat and turning darker in the water. There was a sudden realization in those eyes, in that person, and he looked down and replied with a quiet, truthful voice.  
  
"I said I'm in love with you."  
  
TK stared at him painfully. "You can't mean that."  
  
His boyfriend looked slightly wounded, but then he smiled brightly. "Of course I do! I love you, TK." He looked so happy as he looked at TK with hope lighting up his eyes.  
  
The blonde boy felt faint as he shook his head slowly. "When... when did this happen?"  
  
"What?" Daisuke's happy expression faded a bit into a more serious one- uncommon but oddly fitting on such a thoughtful face. "When did I fall in love with you? I don't know... I think it must have been ages ago, when we first met, but I never understood it until we started dating. And even then, I was never certain until our first kiss."  
  
"That... that long?"  
  
"Yeah. That long." Daisuke hesitantly looked at him, embarrassed and somewhat confused. "Why?"  
  
"I- I didn't expect it," TK replied honestly, feeling dizzier than ever. It had happened. The inevitable- just as he known it would. There was no turning back no, no correcting mistakes, but why did he...  
  
"I- I heard you that night," Daisuke blurted out. TK suddenly snapped out of it and looked up at him quickly in question, causing the boy to blush. He whispered the next words almost shyly. "When you told me you loved me, too. I knew I had to tell you it back someday, but I couldn't do it for a long time..."  
  
TK stared, only able to feel his heart sink somewhere deep inside of him like an atom bomb waiting to explode. This was a horrible, horrible situation. He didn't want to be here- why couldn't this just be a dream, and leave him alone?  
  
"Oh god, what have I done?" he asked himself softly.  
  
Daisuke frowned. "What?"  
  
TK looked him in the eyes, feeling ashamed and cruel at the same time, and finally said something even Daisuke could make sense out of. Something a little to harsh, to easy to make sense of.  
  
"I don't love you, Daisuke. I'm sorry."  
  
And that was where he left him- standing shocked and afraid in the rain that continued to fall in torrents.  
  
He left him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It wasn't easy. No, it hadn't been easy. I got into the damn car and I drove- I drove and never took my eyes off the review mirror where he was standing. Some part of my idiot mind wondered dimly how he was supposed to get home, but somehow I understood without a doubt that he wouldn't want to go home anytime soon. Maybe talk to onii-chan for a long time.  
  
I had been right about that part, at least. Yamato told me as soon as he got home, looking more tired and more sad than I had almost ever seen him, except for the one time I got sick and had to stay in bed for two weeks straight without break. We talked that night, my brother and I. And I knew it was all ending.  
  
The rest of the week after that was a blur- colours and voices echoed all over the place, but I couldn't remember anything of substance.  
  
Except for Daisuke.  
  
There he was everyday, proud and resiliant to the end of this one thing he couldn't understand, looking at me in confusion at lunch and prodding me to talk to him. Passing me little notes to meet him so and so, to talk over whatever had happened between us. It got even more desperate as he tried to corner me in the classrooms before school would start, begging for some sign, his eyes struggling to hold back the tears.  
  
He never once did cry. I'm so proud of my boyfriend.  
  
But he's not mine anymore, is he...? I gave him up and left him alone, and finally when I realized he had to learn the truth and move on, I disconnected him from me. I threw him off the line I'd already shaken with my words. When I told him the full truth, my mistakes, my lies, he never cried, though. He simply looked at me, and then...  
  
My eyes fill with tears even now when I remember him. God, he begged me- he begged me to make it "not true". To tell him that it was all a joke, that there was some chance he could fix whatever he had done, so that I'd take him back. He begged me, and he never cried, but he was so scared, so desperate.  
  
And you know what?  
  
I would have done it. I would have taken everything back, and loved him just like he wanted me to love him, forever- to make it "not true". God, I would have done it. If I could have. If I had the power to make life that easy.  
  
It was the worst goodbye of my life. It ripped at me with guilt, just like it does now, and trust me- the pain hasn't let up yet.   
  
Hey- but, I'm so proud of him. I was so frightened I broke him into pieces, but he never once faltered in life. He carried on with school, some kind of tragic dignity aura around him, and even played soccer for a week more until he finally quit. I tried to convince him not to, but he'd ceased to truly listen to me, although he still stared at me in soft adoration.  
  
I'm proud he never quit. And he never gave up the important things.  
  
He cried every night, Jun told me yesterday. But he never gave up.  
  
But... I want to take it all back. Everything. Just so I can go back to the days when it was just us two- laughing and teasing, when I could just kiss him and the world seemed a bit more... spicier. A bit more happier- and more hopeful, too. The days when we would lay down on the top of the hood of my poor onii-chan's car, and watch the stars, when I would look down at him and know he would never stay awake through it because that was just my Dai-chan's way.  
  
I shouldn't miss him. It was my fault his heart was broken.  
  
And... and, it's... just that... I can't stop crying since I left him, because...  
  
I broke my own, too.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
TK slowly put down the black ink pen, and sat back to stare at his work in the dim light. It'd taken him all night, hours of restless sleep, but he'd managed to get it all down- every last feeling and thought of his last moments with Daisuke.  
  
Rubbing his sore eyes, he reflected on what had come out in the revelations with some pain. Some of it had surprised him, things he hadn't known he was feeling coming out in frustrated jerks of handwriting. His pain. His grief.  
  
His regret.  
  
'I broke my own, too...' The words taunted him.  
  
Slowly, the door behind him creaked open, and footsteps came up behind him. TK smiled softly, recognizing the tread from years of familiarity.  
  
"Hey, Onii-chan."  
  
"Hey, squirt." His older brother paused, dark blue eyes surveying the room before he sat down beside TK on the bed and looked down at the scribbled mess of papers he'd been writing on. "What's that?"  
  
TK shrugged listlessly. "Journal entry, I guess. What'd you need?"  
  
Yamato smiled slightly, hiding the concern in his eyes by studying the wall in front of him. "Nothing. I just wanted to see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm okay." Trying to conjure up some enthusiasm, TK managed to ask in slight interest, "How's Taichi?"  
  
"He's good... he's... well, Taichi-kun..." Yamato chuckled. "He nearly killed the sound guy after he asked me out. Poor Mika won't feel safe for weeks, probably."  
  
TK smiled weakly. "Heh, that's Taichi for you."  
  
"Yeah..." Yamato studied his younger brother, letting the tremendous worry in his deep eyes finally rush out over the teenager. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"Yeah." TK closed his eyes. "I'm okay. Just thinking really hard."  
  
"About what?" his brother asked gently. "Maybe I can help."  
  
TK didn't answer for a long time, slowly opening his suddenly fathomless sapphire eyes and sighing. When he did answer, it was a question. "What's it like to be in love, onii-chan?"  
  
"What?" Yamato's face creased in puzzlement. "In love?"  
  
"Yeah." Their eyes met, identical, blue against blue. Both crackling with deep emotion at the moment, concern on one side, and pain on the other.  
  
Yamato took his time in answering, leaning back and staring up at the cieling. His slender hands plucked lightly at the covers. "Well... it's good." He stopped.  
  
"And..." TK asked quietly. "Is there anything else?"  
  
His brother nodded and smiled wistfully. "Yeah. A lot else. Love... is funny. I guess... you always want to be with that person, all the time, even when they irritate you to the point of disembowlment." Yamato laughed at that, but TK nudged him gently to go on.  
  
"What's it like, onii-chan?" he whispered.  
  
A serious expression fading over his face, Yamato suddenly thought of how young his little brother looked right then, curled up in the corner of the bed, tired and scared looking, clutching papers to his chest. He didn't look like the confident teenager he had been, more like the small boy in the Digi-World without his parents who had to rely on his big brother to care for him. The little boy that had sobbed when he lost his best friend to Devimon, and had run at his brother the second they were reunited. The TK who liked fairytales and safety, who was lost and scared.  
  
"Love..." he said slowly, never taking his eyes off his brother. "Is different for a lot of people, but... for me and Taichi..." Yama's face softened. "It's like the sun woke up and lit up my life. I want to be with him, not just for a moment, but forever. Even if we're locked in time, I wouldn't care, as long as I was with him for as long as I wanted. Heck, I'd love to be locked in time- so I didn't have to change anything, just be perfect with him."  
  
"Like the world should stay there forever?" TK murmered.  
  
"Yeah..." Yamato closed his eyes. "And it makes you feel warm all the time. I can take one look at Taichi, and my heart pounds, my breath starts to go away no matter how many times I've looked at him already, and I feel like I'm touching the sun."  
  
"Like a furnace?" TK asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah... like a furnace, sometimes, sure." Yamato nodded, still closing his eyes and deep in thought. "And it seems like the strangest things come over me, the world's locked in place, and I act so irrational and idiotic sometimes. But it's good, because it makes you feel happy, complete. I couldn't spend a day without Taichi-kun, because he makes me life everything it is some days, especially the dark ones. I want to be in his arms forever, to touch him, and kiss him, and do all that stuff."  
  
TK managed to chuckle slightly. "That stuff, huh?"  
  
Yamato opened an eye and looked at him. "Oh shut up."  
  
"Go on," his brother encouraged.  
  
"Fine..." Yamato opened both eyes and frowned for a bit before talking again. "I... I love him. It's not something I can put into words sometimes. It's overwhelming, like it's deep inside of me, a part of my heart and soul. I can't get rid of it, and I don't even want to. It's love... and... it's what I want, TK."  
  
The silence fell like a velvet curtain in the room. Finally, TK spoke, and the strangled tone made Yamato jump in concern.  
  
"Do you think he'd forgive me, onii-chan?"  
  
Yamato paused in mid jump, and settled back down. "I guess you're talking about Daisuke?"  
  
TK closed his eyes tightly. "I... god, I can't stop thinking about him. I love him- I really do love him. He's my furnace- my sun and... and that part of my soul. But I don't think he'll take me back after what I did to him."  
  
Yamato shook his head, light hair falling against his forehead. "He'd forgive you. He'd welcome you with open arms, even- he's that much in love with you, squirt. But... are you?"   
  
TK met Yamato's eyes, as his older brother waited for an answer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Daisuke sighed in exhaustion, watching the wooden stage of the auditorium with a heavy heart. His eyes were laid with pain, but at the same time, he risked a tight smile at Hikari, sitting next to him. The entire group was there- everyone, he thought thankfully, except TK and Yamato.  
  
Yamato obviously because he was preforming. As the lights dimmed and went up again, Daisuke wondered yet again how the others had talked him into coming. He hadn't wanted to be dragged from the solitude and safety of his room and Chibimon, where he could be alone and mope in peace.  
  
Tears filled the boy's haunted eyes, but he blinked them away forcefully. He refused to cry here, in front of everyone. He had some pride, at least.  
  
But... it hurt.  
  
It wasn't just hurt- it was overwhelming, intense, broken pain. It felt as though someone had stuck a dagger deep in his spine and twisted it around every hour, combining with the shard of glass someone had buried in his heart. It... hurt. It just hurt.  
  
"Yamato's coming on," Hikari murmered beside him, patting his arm sweetly. He nodded absently, staring more at the floor than the stage in his own torment. It was hard to come back here like this.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted, thankfully, when the lights brimmed on full blast and dimmed to the normal level. The cheers hightened.  
  
And then fell, as the stage was silent.  
  
Daisuke looked up, only mildly confused and interested in why the music hadn't started up by now like it did at the usual concert. The band was there, but Yamato was holding up his hand, keeping his gaze on... well, Daisuke.  
  
The boy automatically tensed.  
  
"Hold on, people- if you'd be so kind as to be quiet for a moment," the famous blonde musican murmered. "Please?"  
  
Of course, as soon as he told what he wanted, every fan set out to appease him by shutting up. After the first off scattered whispers and cheers, the room fell silent. It lasted for a moment while the boy on stage waited patiently.  
  
Finally, Yamato put down his hand. "First of all..." he smiled at the crowd, seeking out Tai's warm gaze in the row as usual. "Thanks for coming here. It's a long drive for some of you."  
  
There was a second of yelling about the show going on, but then Yamato waved his hand again, and like a miracle wand it became silent so the young man could talk again.   
  
"And I know you're all anxious to see us preform. But first, I'm pleased to say I have an act before I sing, with someone I care about deeply."  
  
Daisuke winced. 'Oh brother... why did Yamato have to pick the time to do a romantic interlude with Taichi two weeks after I broke up?' The pain increased, and he bowed his head.  
  
"You see, my little brother wants to say something to someone. And I told him, if he's going to make a statement- go all out."   
  
Immediatly, Daisuke's head shot up and he gasped. Beside him, Hikari gripped his slender arm tightly to stop the automatic escape he'd planned, and he was plopped right back in the seat still struggling.  
  
"Get off-" he hissed. "I won't want to see, I mean- I can't see-"  
  
"Shut up and sit down," she said firmly, finally shoving the boy back in the seat with a certain amout of force behind it. Daisuke winced and rubbed his arm, curling up slightly in panic. He wanted out- he wanted out really badly-  
  
And he hadn't noticed that the lights had dimmed and Yamato had stopped talking.  
  
The music startled him, but the voice got him the most.  
  
"L... is for the way you look at me..."  
  
Daisuke's head slowly lifted and his eyes widened as they saw the last- the very last- thing he had expected.  
  
Takeru Takeshia, golden hair lit up like an angel, decked out in his own brothers style with dark jeans and a sleeveless black shirt that fit his frame perfectly, and with a microphone shyly clutched in his hand.  
  
"O... is for the only one I see..."  
  
There was shock, there was confusion, but suddenly the song hit him and he listened- tears in his eyes, but he listened to the angel on the stage because it was the last thing he could hold onto.  
  
TK's gaze never left his face, as he sang softly into the mike with everything he had.  
  
"V... is very, very extraordinary! E... is even more than anyone that you adore can..."  
  
The audience gasped and laughed as the boy on stage whirled around, and grinned, pointing to a single person in the audience, who's eyes were as wide as the moon.  
  
"I... Takeru..." whispered Daisuke softly, tears filling in him as he watched his blonde love sing.  
  
Takeru smiled hopefully. "Love, is all the I can give to you... love, is more than just a game for two!"  
  
He placed a hand over his heart, and despite the upbeat music, despite the wonderful lyrics and their message, all Daisuke could see was that look on his face as he sang- full of hope, adoration, and every single cell incredibly in love with him. It was the way he moved so gracefully, even when he had been hurt- it was his smile, his beautiful eyes, the way his footsteps were so firm yet light.  
  
If he hadn't been in love with him before, he would have fallen in love right then.  
  
Slowly, an incredible smile lighting his face up like the sun spread over his face.  
  
"Two, in love can make it-" Takeru put a hand to his chest soufully, and sang gently, "Take my heart and please don't break it, love..."  
  
Daisuke felt his heart heal.  
  
"... was made for..."  
  
The mahogany haired boy blew a kiss to the stage, and TK felt his heart glow.  
  
"... me aaaand you!"  
  
In a spin of no time, as though the world had stopped and the cheering was silent in the background, in some frozen screenshot of colour and laughter, TK had jumped from the stage and went straight up to his surprised, crying love. It took a split second of that time when there was no time- and Daisuke was in his arms, sobbing, smiling Daisuke, who wound his arms around the blonde angel's neck and refused to let go as he clutched himself to his chest. TK wrapped his own arms around the thin waist of his love, relief and wonder washing through him like a golden waterfall.  
  
They stayed that way, holding on and throwing off.  
  
It felt like forever. But TK still had something to say.  
  
"I love you, Daisuke Motomiya."  
  
Daisuke finally looked up, his lovely, fiery dark eyes filled with tear drops of crystal. "I-I don't know what to say, TK..."  
  
The blonde gently touched his face with a light fingertip. "Say you'll take me back?"  
  
"Yeah," Daisuke said. His smile lit up the glorious world. "I'll take you back."  
  
And it seemed as they were the only people in the crowded theatre, as their lips met passionately, only pausing long enough for TK to think one thing among the way his heart was lighting up slowly.  
  
Maybe the word "love" wasn't so bad after all.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
